Men of nowadays...!!!

Na so oh, last week I was gisting with one guy like that, he now said that he asked his girlfriend "what are you bringing to the table"? hin say e no fit marry girl wey no dey work, say he dey find partner not house wife. Marriage is 50/50.  Ok. We haff heard! This is sha not the first or only guy saying this...if you have been discussing wife matter with boys of nowadays you will discover kpe their head don fokasibe! I gree kpe its not good for women ambition to be marrying rich man and become housewife - gone are those days! Yet sometimes i sit and sigh and say "oh! how lucky those women of my granmama generation were".... Anyways that is not my portion!

Back to the story, I sha noticed that the boys of this awa generation ti baje! I dont now who to blame for what some of them have turned out to be! They are toooo lazy! And they want to drink their beer and have it, but na lie! e no fit happen! "How"? you ask....Lets go back to the days of our granpapa and granmama...who was in charge of the family? who was the SOLE PROVIDER? hold on.Going back to that generation sef is too far, look at our own papa and mama; for most of us the papa is the provider. Who pay school fees? daddy! Who buy you christmas cloth? daddy!! Who drop the popular "garri money"?daddy!!! There you go! Daddy was everything (although that has its disadvantages but that is not todays topic!). We all felt that the sun shone out of daddy's yansh, didnt we?! After God, na who? Na daddy!

WOK'CHOP: ILA ASEPO

INGREDIENTS

-pieces goat meat/or beef

- chicken ( aka old layer).lol but if u cant find the old layer type use any other kind

-tripe/shaki

-cow skin (ponmo aka showboy) or cowleg

-shawa/dried fish

-stockfish (dried cod fish aka okporoko)

-dried catfish

-fresh king prawns

BUS 80!

Im so sorry Ive not been blogging much! I gats apologise so here it is : I am sorry! Missed blosgville, and i hope i wont be away for long again. Oya on to todays gist! Well its not really my usual gist, this one is special from God.  Im here to tell u guys about BUS 80 with mixed feelings! I'm angry and happy at the same time at this BUS service, well more angry than happy to be honest.

 So I recently moved to this area, and the bus that takes me to my street gan gan is BUS 80. That bus service is soooooooooooo crap! National Express please take note! I feel the drivers are in their offices/bus stations/ wherever  drinking ogogoro while passengers are waiting angrily in the freezing cold, some missing appointments, getting late for work/meetings! Or  is it that there are not enough buses? There is nothing more annoying than a bus service that is never on time. If they are never going to be on time, why get a timetable in the first place? So the bus is supposed to arrive 3.15, 3.36,  3.50 within an hour but the 3.15 doesn't show till 4.36! Friggin frack! At this juncture I'm begging God, please give me money make i buy moto!

The Journey-My Birthday

Yay! Its mi birthday oh! Oya make we parry!Erm, actually I don’t feel like partying, I don’t feel like doing much, I just want to sit still the whole day and see how the whole year flew by, in fact how I came to be this age! Don’t ask me how old I am. Puhleeze don’t! Lol. Truly inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. Kids now call me aunty! My royal vain self woke up this morning to search for grey hairs and wrinkles...Thankfully I found none (Whew!). I looked through old pictures and took new ones, it was all a game of ‘spot the difference’...and I’m still thinking to myself, have I changed? 

However, I’m thankful to God for making me see this day. E nor easy...many people don kpoof, many don wayward, but I’m still here, not becos i fine, or anything, but na becos God lurrrrv me! He lurrv mi oh!  Growing older does make one thankful...retrospectively, the journey has been good, progressive and promising.  In one year I’ve started and finished my masters (nor be God?). In one year my father discovered I have a boyfriend (ooops!).  In one year I moved from a size 8 to a 10. In one year, I joined Twitter, YouTube and Blogger (and met you all). This same year was the first time I had short hair. I have truly achieved alot! Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. So today I’m going to be counting my blessings and listing my lessons, join me!

Piopio Piopio Pio! (A+)

“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:

  ... feet that are quick to rush into evil,

  a false witness who pours out lies 

       and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers” Proverbs 6: 16-19

Una don see when Amebo dey run go give gist before? They can almost trip over themselves sometimes! It’s not even their fault that their feet dey hurry to gossip- we all know say bad tory dey sweet well well....somehow there is a 'high' one gets

Endowed???

I know its been a minute, nor mind me. Its my dissertation- I nor know who send me go school! Anyways, make we leave school matter for Mathias. Na tory I wan yarn...

I heard of Fake Butt today...not surgically enhanced, but worn like a dress. As in real fake nnnyyyyaaaaaasssssh! Some girl wore it to my friends wedding in 9ja and I sure say all the guys when dey there don swallow spit tire cos they thot she was Ini Edo, Beyonce or Kim Kardashian. Ive heard of the boob thingy girls wear to enhance their endowments...I think I wore it once sef....lol. But nyash own? That na serious matter oh!

Fake eyelash... fake bobbi... fake nails... fake hair...fake eye colour... fake nyash! What is real then?

I was just wondering in my mind how the girl feel when yesterday her nyash be llike slate and then today e heavy like bagco super sack! Like , do you wake up one blessed morning on the right side of your bed and decide "this nyash too flat, make I buy join". Do people really do that? lol.I think they do. Ehen, how do they feel when they walk into a shop to buy one? 

Girl: " Madam abeg, give me one yansh there"...

Madam: " Whish one you want? 'boys follow me' or 'Heavy duty'?

Girl: "Give me heavy duty"... 

HIDE YOU WIFE, HIDE YOUR KIDS...AND YOUR HUSBANDS!!!

 For a second I forgot this was a real news story- Antoine Dodson's sister was almost raped and his interview on TV was turned into a very catchy song...Ive been singing all day. I thought it was really hilarious and creative...make sure you watch the first video before the second one!!!

 VIDEO 1

Na So We See Am?

"Nigeria is expected to make history on October 1 2010, when its caterers build and unveil the world’s largest cake. The 65,000kg cake, will be unveiled at the National Stadium, Abuja, is expected to beat the current Guinness World Records. The cake, which will be 100ft long and 6ft high, will require the services of at least 2000 persons, and is expected to beat the records of the current world’s largest cake, a 58ton cake which was baked in 1989"

 I'm not a politician oh but immediately I read about this news story na my blood begin dey boil. All my hsir stand like ayamatanga for that Ishawuru film of those days. What arrrrrrrant nonsence! Sotaaay we nor see any beta tin to do, it is now to be baking cake kwa! Cake for what? To celebrate 50 years of , of, of.....! Hmmm....I must table this matter oh.  I was so upset that I started ranting on twitter and to my friends and to everybody that cared to listen. The people I mostly talked with were youths, under 30 and here's what they had to say;

'Na so we see am'

'How we go do na'

'This is Nigeria for you'

WHO RAZZ PASS?

Recently I was at a gathering and I heard this confused Nigerian chic referring to some other girl as 'razz' because she speaks Yoruba. I overheard her saying to some people "her Yoruba is so 'konk', i feel its too razz", she said, with her nose in the air. And they all laughed. I turned to her and said, 'I beg your pardon'...and na so we start to argue...cos first of all I don't like it when people make derogatory comments about others. 

Ok, I will start by saying that today I am advocating for the pidgin language to be installed in our country and to be globally recognized and accepted as a language. Y'all beware cos when I become president, its ON! and we will have a pidgin dictionary as well(i think we already do tho)! lol. I haff tired of people referring to alot of Nigerian customs as razz...why should eating eba with our hands be considered as razz? why should wearing buba and sokoto be considered as razz? why should kneeling to greet one's elders be labelled razz? See, I nor dey lie, I have heard so many people label all these things as razz, if I dey lie make I naked baf!

IF IT WERE YOU...?

Sigh...Im sure y'all know the tory about the oyinbo blue-eyed-blonde-baby that one 9ja couple produced, how they did it, I have no clue. Once again, we Nigerian's make international headlines with unusual news stories...first it was our pata (underwear) bomber, then our super eaglets at the SA World Cup...now this! We have actually produced a white baby! Bravo Bravo! I'm actually waiting for the end of that story cos we know say e no go end there. Na so oh, that night after reading the news I went to bed and na so I dream kpe...

Fastforward to JULY 2021

I was pregnant with my 5th child oh and hubby and  I were so excited about it- he had succeeded in naming our first 4 kids who were boys and I was so glad to be the one in charge of this one. Infact, I don get the pikin name since wey I dey secondary school, she was to be named 'Pearl' after one fine half-caste babe like this for my primary school dat time, so I believe say If I name my pikin after her, she go fine too. I was just excited about this baby, period. How can my hubby score goal four times and dem be boys? no even penality for me? I announced to everyone that I was having a girl and I begged all the fine girls in my church to be rubbing my belle while I waka far from dose wey wowo bellup them.

An attitude of gratitude!

Happy Sunday oh! Hope no sme sme today? Today I feel 'LED' to talk about good and godly things, for those looking for posts that will not glorify my heavenly father, please click here. Peace on you. Like I said, I am trying to be very good today; I woke up, said my prayers, played gospel music like most people do on a sunday morning to ginger themselves for sunday service. Today, i have come to show an attitude of gratitude. I should have gone to give this testimony in church but since im too shy nothing spoil, na here I go do my own cos the bible said, where two or three are gathered that the presence of the Lord is there (cant remember where exactly), so you and I equals two. Listen and be blessed!

Praiseeeeeeeee de Lord! Children of God praiiiiiiisssssssssseeeeee master Jesus!! Pra-pra-pra-praaaaaiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee de Lord! (in igbo accent). God is good (reply with 'all the time'). My brethren, last week I dey pack comot my house to this my new place, naim I look my load burst cry. Why? because the load dem plenty. I dey bite teeth, dey complain seriously even the taxi driver go don dey wonder if one nut never lose for my head. But as I was complaining, I felt ungrateful.

WHO TAKES THE FRONT SEAT?

I have been having some kind of malaria abi na sickness symptoms and I was wondering, 'what could have caused this', apparently the answer is because I havn't blogged in 7 days and I've been moving house and that kain thing is tedious...Its like carrying cement bags and modelling it on a runway! Infact, I have a long post on that. Watchout! lol. As for those rotten minds thinking and insisting it was because I was doing another form of 'weightlifting' during my vacation all I can say to you is this ...IT IS WELL WITH YOUR SOULS! lol

Anyways, I moved into this apartment and met this lovely 9ja chic on my block (she dashed me indomie the first day and Lord knows thats how I met my boyfriend-indomie). So she invites me out and because boredom don bellup me I kuku carry myself go chop osho-free rice. I heard it was going to be a nigerian thingy, and trust me, it was. From Ebenezer Obey's music, to peppersoup, to agbada-wearing-men and loud-waist-shaking-mothers in gele skentele. Trust me, the whole works! If you like call me , 'mo gbo mo ya', na you sabi!lol

Lurf in Tokyo...

OHKAY! In case you're thinking of honeymoon location you should add this grenada  to your list, its one of the Carribbean Islands however bear in mind say dem no get 9ja food and their garri is salted and expensive! Infact eferitin is expensive. But the ocean is free and the sandsand is free so u can pack some as souvenirs for all your extended families and all those people that keep bugging "buy me something oh"...Also carry raid when u dey come cos these mosquito's for here fit kidnap pesin! Well me I sha didnt come here for honeymoon, I came for lurf in tokyo and I had fun. Yes! na man I come see, abi I never old reach? My mate don born ooo. Anyways now I have to get back to real life and its paining me...e dey pain me oh gan gan...Enjoy some of the videos and pictures. Seriously Grenanda tourism should pay me for this work no pay wey I dey do so .

My visit to annandale waterfalls...I was the camera woman so u can't spot me :). The first video is a lovely one of this dude serenading us...he said I look like ashanti...Is that a compliment?I'll take it as one :)

When I grow up?

  

Mehn...when I was a shild (child) things were so much more easier jare now when pesin don dey old many tory don dey get k-leg. I remember anytime any of my papa friends ask me, ‘babygirl what do you want to be when you grow up’ and my answer would be ‘Doctor’ cos my fada don dey sing am follow me since dem born me . Infact  ‘doctor’ was on the list of names dey use to do my naming ceremony. Not too long,  I discovered I was not the only one who wanted to be a doctor: all the shildren for my class wan be doctor, and all d shidren for dat my street too wan become doctor, all my cousins wan be doctor too. Na wah oh. I was now reasoning to myself, if all of us become doctor who go be the bus conductor? Or who go be gateman? I sha know say no be me and my mama don tell me say Godforbiddatkaintin!!! Ori mi ko!

  Na when I reach SS1 I know say to be doctor no be beans...infact to be a science student is not moi-moi. I hated maths, the numbers always confuse me, I could never successfully cram multiplication table-no wonder anytime exam reach I was ALWAYS sick! I hated chemistry, and physics was my enemy but how I go be doctor if i no do all those courses? 

YOUR AGE BY SEX MATH

Its actually true,Just try it
 
YOUR AGE BY SEX MATH

Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway

YOUR AGE BY SEX MATH
This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!It takes less than a minute .Work this out as you read .Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex(more than once but less than 10). Or perhaps pick a random number if your're celibate like me :)lol

Pay me and my husband to 'DO'? Woohoooo!

I was reading Verastic's blog and I stumbled upon this Yotaro. Hmmm...I must to talk on this one oh. Well, this Yotaro is a robot that was created by the Japanese to create more parental feelings in Japanese couples and encourage them to decide to have babies inshort a baby stimulator. Apparently the Yotaro does most things a baby does except shit...and we all know that shit stink, and if you havn't dealt with baby shit before a Yotaro cannot help you understand one. Anyone that gets pregnant due to this Yotaro is going to have the shock of their lives when they give birth...babies can cry, babies just wont sleep at night, babies get sick, babies are not easily placeted with just a touch on the forehead, baby giggles dont come cheap-you've got to pull a lot of stunts to entertain them, babies wear diapers and we all no say pampers no cheap for market, babies need food...babies grow up. I dont see the Yotaro fitting into this bill.

NIGGA MOMENT AVERTED! SIGH...

 To those who do not understand what a nigga moment is I will do the honour enlightening of you – “a nigga moment is when ignorance overwhelms the mind of an average male - to put it plainly, they act like niggas”...Urban Dictionary. This is sooo typical of a nigga moment; it can be caused by something as little as what happened today and you know I will yarn you the tory. It’s been a long time I saw a bunch of 9ja folks in one place, so I was pretty excited. It was a friend’s baby dedication – an igbo family dedicating their twin girls. So you know how the levels dey naw. After escourting dem to church to dedicate the pikins, the real dedication is when we do bumper to bumper go their house. You know how we 9ja do naw. There was pepper soup, jollof rice, fried rice, egusi and eba...that’s A LOT of Nigerian food if you are married to a Grenadian lady and live in Grenada. I quickly settled down to demolishing he different 9ja delicacies, I chop round one, round two well, enough for lunch and dinner. It was a pretty scene...the only thing missing was some Oliver de Coque playing in the background.

BUNGEE JUMPING? ... AM I MAHD???

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I agree, it’s a beautiful day for so many activities but there  is one that will never make it to my list- sky diving or bungee jumping.  I’m not into sports, I think my best sporting is walking or running to catch the train! That’s the best I do. I was kinda bored and looking for an activity to do, someone mentioned boat sailing (good), surfing (I don’t know how to), but bungee jumping? (Oh hell noooooooooo!) - I’m bored NOT crazy!

I read in the paper’s a while ago about how two people (man n a young girl below 30 years) plunged to their deaths. The man was above 50 years old with about 30 years of experience in bungee jumping. Even though both of them were experienced in this sport along the way, their parachutes got intertwined during descent and they plummeted to their deaths. ‘Tis very sad and it happens often however there are people that still get away with this sport successfully.

Am I the only one who remembers???....wow!

I stumbled on oldies from the 70's and 80's and they brought back so much memories of my childhood in warri...lets have fun going thru them. This list is by no means exhaustive...just a taste of the oldies..you can always find more on youtube. Enjoy!

1.MIKE OKRI "OKPEKE

2. FELIX LIBERTY "IFEOMA"



3. ALEX ZITO "WALAKOLOMBO"



4 EDNA OGOLI "JEALOUSY"



5. RAS KIMONO "RUMBA STYLE"



6. MIKE OKRI "TIME NA MONEY"



7. BLAKKY "CAN I HAVE A DANCE ROSIE"



8. SHINA PETERS "ESE O"



9. JUNIOR & PRETTY "BOLANLE"



10. NEL OLIVER "WAJOO"



11. DONT KNOW ARTISTE OR NAME OF SONG BUT IT MUST BE PLAYED AT MY WEDDING!



12. CHRISTY IGBOKWE "SEUN RERE"

Happy fathers day papa! sorry, "DAD"!

HA! Its 20th of june oh, father's day!!! If you haff not call your papa, berra call him now before the man go disown you. Me I understand and know how to give honour to whom honour is due;I kiss the right ass. Me i haff buy my daddy his father's day gift since, like 1 month ago. Na him the money dey come from now (I have not gained independence yet), and giving to your daddy is like paying tithe. The man has money na, me I don't have kobo except the allawi he gives to me, ehen, so on father's day I give him 2% and then he is very happy, but he don forget say na him give me the money wey I use buy am present. And the good thing is?give and more shall be given unto you, maybe next time he might add jara to my pocket money (fingers crossed)

Father's dey try oh. I sat down and I just wonder how do they do it? Daddies hussle to provide for their children, and the monther or mother's as the case may be (for those carry overload). They buy you christmas cloth every year, pay your school fees and try's their best to send you to the bestest school they can afford. He make sure say he give your mother garri money- and if he no fit kasala go burst. He will also send money for inlaws, and his extended family that want to suck him dry like parasite, as if they have shares in his salary. All these he will do while trying to meet up with societal norms and status quo.

IT'S A MAN'S WORLD OUT THERE.....IS IT???

I just finished watching the best yoruba movie i can ever remember watching and this movie made me cry (despite all my agidi-stronghead. I was fighting the tears, trying to give it odeshi). Which movie made me cry like this? hmmm the last i can remember is one bollywood movie like that, however we all know how emotional bollywood movies can get- with all the singing (sorrowful singing) and sad faces (i give it to them for being able to fetch emotions out of the wells called us). Well, this story is not about bollywood,but of the world we live in...Is it a man's world?

If you havnt watched any yoruba movie in your life I'll suggest that you start with Ohun Oko So'mida- Starring Sola Shobowale (many kisses and hugs to her....even smooches sef), Oga Bello and Pa Kasumu (erm....sorry google these names). Its the typical story we hear everyday, poor husband and wife, the wife forfeits her education to support her broke husband in school amidst many difficulties, he becomes succesful and when he don chop belleful he decides to take a second wife (I know some will say " what is new about this?"). Anyways, the ungrateful husband finally picks an ignorant okpelenge, divorces his wife, takes full custody of the kids AND withdraws every single kobo left in their JOINT ACCOUNT. The woman in question out of frustration (who wont be?) takes a gun and shoots the olodo okpelenge and her husband just days before their wedding and na so kata kata burst. You need to watch this movie to see the whole bruhaha unfold. I wish i could do one of those annoying adverts i see on tv.

TO TELEPORT OR NOT?

I hate flying...i no like am at all, i love the fact that its fast oh, no doubt but I hate the risk attached...why can’t we just apparate like in Harry Potter?, all i need is a broomstick abi? WHY cant we just vanish??? Why cant someone just invent some pill that we just swallow and then we find ourselves in our desired location? I know that’s close to witchcraft sha but i just want to teleport. This blog is basically about my boring 10 hour flight that induced me to think about teleporting! Why cant i just say ‘beam me up scotty’! ? (as in Star Trek)

4.30 am
I woke up, took a fast shower and dressed up (one of the few times I find a dress asap without going thru a crisis and that’s because I’ve arranged the dress like one week ago.) Well I sit and I wait for the cab that is supposed to arrive 5 am on the dot.

5.30am
Why has this taxi man not  come now? I just siddon dey vex with myself, and I’m ranting and getting nervous like, if this man make me miss my flight, wo! What I will do to him he will never forget- ahn ahn...he’s 30 mins late. I no wan reach road and then one nonsense hold up go delay me oh...i kept thinking of lagos traffic and my anger dey gain momentum-my lipstic don clean and i don don dey sweat for d cold weather-. Oya i called taxi man n he goes “im on the A-13 road, i’ll soon be there”....who cares????if you like be on d A-finish  that’s not my consine, you’re supposed to be here!!!! All I could think of is why can’t I just teleport???

5.45am
Taximan finally shows up and off we go. Since the trip to the airport was going to be an hour long I had already preplanned to complete my sleep on my way, so I settled in comfortably and closed my eyes. Taxi man apparently wanted to gist and he kept asking me about 9ja and if Lagos is still the way he left it 25 years ago – he mentioned names of places he used to visit and I’m thinking to myself how can I sleep now? baba yi , je kin sun naw! I indulged him a little and I diplomatically answered his questions. After a comfortable 3 minutes of silence I went back to sleep. Just when i was changing gear on my sleep taximan started another conversation. Trust me, I pretended not to hear and closed my eyes hoping he would just sharrap but d man no gree- he nudged me “are you sleeping??” and in my head I’m screaming “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????? “but in real life im smiling politely in cold anger saying ‘yes I’m sleeping,’ I even yawned for effect  but d man mean bizness, he kept on ranting on how oyinbo’s hate blakky’s and all of that and I’m nodding and smiling stupidly...and wondering..Why can’t I just teleport to the airport????

7.15am
Arrived airport and im eager to leave taximan but he insists on waiting till I board. Okay, thats niceeee...but I didn’t want to continue the conversation. Well I didn’t. Taximan decided to carry my luggage and be looking for passengers he will carry back to town...and I’m freaking out cos im next on the long queue to check in and I can’t find my luggage...hmmm this man don dey make me vex! Finally he arrives in time and I check luggage in.

9.00am
I’m aboard and I’m fretting- I’m one of those people that have a panic attack when flying... before i entered the plane, I inspected it on the outside, and I’m thinking to myself “did they wash it today?” why is it looking dirty one kind? if outside is not so clean i wonder how the engine will be, did they check the engine this morning? hope the plane is not over loaded? How come the plane can fly so high in the air as heavy and as big as it looks? Yes, I kept asking all these questions. That when I started praying. You know people tend to “born again” when they are travelling, or they redicate their lives to God or to whatever juju that they are serving. I made sure I confessed all my sins, all the sins I’ve ever sinned and I was just saying, God i don’t wanna die today ohhhh. Yes I was freaking out! And i was just really hoping that someday I would be able to teleport!

1.15pm
I awake from my short slumber and I look out the window...and all I can see is water, the Atlantic Ocean. I remember that bad ass joke wey Basketmouth abi na which comedian talk and I gulp in fear. I keep rehearsing in my head how to use a life jacket and I kept wondering why i haven’t learnt to swim after all the lessons my dear friend gave me.  I was wondering about the ash cloud and if it has really cleared.  I was looking for what to distract me, I no get magazine, my battery was low so i couldn’t listen to some music and the girl beside me was sleeping so soundly. I badly wanted to pull taximan’s stunts on her but she looked tough- I no wan chop slap so I maintain.  Suddenly the plane hit turbulence and I screamed “daddy”! ... and all the dudes in the plane were whooping happily-apparently they have been looking forward to it- i bin wan talk say “thunder fire una” but i remember say we dey d same plane ,if thunder fire dem e go touch me too so i sharrap.. I dey shake... I just wanna teleport to my location.....

6.00pm
Finally arrived at my destination and I’m just thinking of how to invent a teleporting pill. Someone should invent something like that so that people like me can avoid all these panic attacks when travelling  either by road, sea, or air.  We all should be able to teleport!!! Eishhh!!

I like my nose!!! How often do you affirm yourself???

How often do we affirm ourselves? I know i talk to the mirror alot but most of the time im not acually affirming myself, im probably looking for the new pimples that cropped up during the night, looking for the latest scars on my body and muttering to myself...."what is this now ehn?? look at this nonsense pimple, see my nose (i think so many people have issues with their nose as well ~)  see craw-craw, see my small hips, see my short hair, why i no be half-caste sef, which kain mirror be dis sef"....i dont say all these words sha but i do complain!

However on a very good day i look in the mirror  im like...see God's handwork!I do a little konko below and sometimes a little shakira dance and I try to just to affirm myself and speak positive things into my life. You should try it as well sometime,its not an easy road to travel but its a good thing to do.

IS THERE A PERFECT MAN?

I spent all morning wondering if anything like that exists and I came to a conclusion that you could never get a 100 %. Especially when you are looking for a hundred percent in a prospective partner. I’m sure we have once written a list or two, mentally or for real, listing qualities we want “our perfect man” or “perfect woman” to possess. Some physical qualities, some character qualities. My perfect man smiles and laughs a lot, he loves to hug, always listens and gives a lot of gifts! (might as well be Santa). I've written a list too, not once, not twice cos as I grew older I had to edit the list. lol.

GBO GBO BIGZZZ GIRLSSSSS!!!

Girls wont kill us these dayss....Everyone sha wants to be biggzzzz....Abeg who has heard of this new craziness called Brazillian hair oh? and Indian one ma? what of malaysian? high 5 jare if you are very conversant with these things that have become like a virus especially in 9ja girls. Dem no go let pezin hear word again!. Ahn Ahn! If you dont have money, you go suffer. Who say money no good?bring am make i woze am! Is it an easy sometin to look like Beyonce,, Ciara, ati be be lo?tell me?! Well these hair people finally showed us the secret to their long natural looking hair pieces abi na extension dem dey call am. You see ehn...when I was ignorant, i would spend the better part of my day trying to figure out how a black girl like me will have long mammy water hair. Wetin I do? I go just dey wonder.But we thank God! Breeze don blow and fowl yansh don open. I now know that I can resemble all these celebrities one kind if i combine lace hair and brazillian hair!Some people sef will do the lace hair n resemble ojuju, na wah oh....

KISS between D'banj and Genevieve!!!

D'BANJ and GENEVIEVE - FALL IN LOVE!!!

Na wah oh, I heard they are even dating sef....abeg did anyone see the kiss at the end of the video??????????? <3 <3

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS? DO A STRIP TEASE TO THIS SONG!!! lol

I

Stop Harrassing me oh!!!!!! lol

OK! Almost everyone is beginning to get on my nerve these days. Since I enter 2010, i cannot hear word again, no. I need to calm down so that you can understand my predicament which im sure so many of my mates are facing. lol. I was chatting with a friend today and I was saying to him 'so how how are your wedding plans coming along?' (since its in 3 months time, its simple courtesy now), the dude replied thus 'going well o, hope you will be after me?' im like,,,,C'mon!!! Na my matta sweet you pass? you never buy asoebi finish, pay bride price, pay for drinks n food finish, you don dey swallow Ibrupofane on my behalf. Na wah oh. It seems  I cant even give people compliments these days oh. Its a fearing tin!

Two weeks ago, my friend gave birth to a bouncing baby (i wont say boy or girl, amebo). Anyways, i saw a picture of the baby on facebook (thats where all my problems start, FB!) and then i was cooing and aaawwwwing and i said hey Mrs, you baby is sooo adorable (i love babies u know, until they start to talk). And the next comment this girl put on d picture was,' thank you my dear, we are waiting for you oh'. Na wah oh...Na me be dis????lol

WOK'CHOP: AYA MASE, aka Designer Stew

Hi! Im so excited about this weeks recipe cos its something ive been wanting to try out for a loooong time! Kai....have u heard of aya mase? if u neva chop am , dem no tell you? its the kind of stew that makes me believe in heaven. Small tin remain i go compose love song to this stew..should i tell you the origin of this stew? should i???? ok, now that you are begging me, i will. 

FACEBOOK MANNERS!

Hi there!

I was recently appalled (kai! grammer) at what i saw on facebook. Some people just dont use their number 6 anymore... how can someone's status be "i just lost my grand-mum n sister" and then one mumu will "like" it???? it just makes me wonder ...i dont blame the people totally; i blame facebook, they should have had an "unlike" tab, and then "sorry" tab and then "indifferent" tab...feel free to make suggestions. The only reason someone will "like" something like that is cos they dont have any facebook manners or should i say etiquette!

I remember my mother taught me valuable lessons in life, my father as well, and some friends chipped in here and there; without it where I for dey??? e.g Dont pinch yamayama in your nose in public, when coughing cover your mouth, dont stare at someone, dont point at someone, dont drag your feet on the ground, dont beg...etc. Didnt anyone tell you these??

MISS/MR/MRS ANNONYMOUS (1984- BLAH)? remembering Bimbo Odukoya,Dagrin amongst others

Today I read in the papers about the death of a mother, sister, aunt, friend…but what I was more interested in was her position as a wife(some say I’m obsessed with love, marriage and relationships). I get inspiration from published articles or stories of women who have made their mark in their homes. It’s not easy to see that a late wife is described as her husband’s best friend…or that she was his backbone…most women forget to fulfill that function; The function of a best friend and back bone; the role of the neck. In our busy entangled lives, we often forget.

It is unfortunate that some of these women pass on early leaving their husbands and family to grieve their loss, however, it is a thing of great joy to have lived a very rich and rewarding life, albeit short. It doesn’t matter how long you live, what is more important is what you will be remembered for…what memories have you been creating? What impact have you made in your 26, 35 or 50 years of living? You don’t have to have done anything globally awesome like discovering the cure for AIDS….all you need to do is start with being locally awesome…and then take it from there.lol. Funny, but true.

EFO-RIRO...RECIPE FOR THE WEEK!!!

Yeah, I recently discovered that i ENJOY cooking. I dont like washing up later oh. Kai, I remember how that can cause kwanta in my house...I no like to dey wash plate at allllllllllll. But anyways im learning, if I have to make that someone a lucky man, ive got to be hardworking. We all know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach( there are other shortcuts my dear, but today is not the day to elaborate on those shotcuts...lol)

Anyways,Ive been trying my hands on new dishes so Ive made a pact with myself to learn and share the recipee for making a new dish each week (so help me God!). If you have suggestions on making a meal more interesting, please feel very free to place your suggestion as I am looking forward hearing your views. For this week its going to be EFO RIRO, which is a delicacy from the western part of Nigeria. Looks yummy right? tastes better too (wink).

This hallmarks of this meal is that it is filled with assortments of fish, meat, seafood,and vegetables that make your taste buds very very happy!.

Ingredients

• Assorted parts of meat (kidney, liver, saki, pomo, cowleg, bokoto (ati be be lo)
• Stock fish that has been pre soaked....so that it wont taste like ehn...sawdust!
• Smoked fish (i particularly love dem for soakin garri)
• Bush meat (if you can find some sha, ive been tempted to use my neighbours rabbit :)
• Crab (i looooooove crabs....too bad they are so expensive)
• Snails (please wash 'em properly, there is nothing more irritating than slippery snail)
• Grounded crayfish (either in big chunks or smoothly blended)
• Fresh pepper
• Fresh tomatoes
• Tomato puree
• Spinach, soko, ugu vegetables
• Onions
• Palm oil
• iru (nasty smelling stuff, but wonderful in soups)
• Salt
• Maggi

Directions

• Place the washed assorted meat in a pot of water or the stock you have
• Season with salt, add ground pepper and boil fro 30 minutes until tender
• Add smoked fish, Stock fish, crab, snail and cook for another 10 minutes
• Remove from heat and place in a clean bowl
• Wipe the pot out and pour in the palm oil
• Heat up the oil
• Blend the tomatoes, pepper and onions, add to hot oil and stir for 10 minutes
• Add tomato puree and cook fro 5 minutes until well blended
• Add cooked meats, crayfish, and some more stock or water
• Simmer for 10 minutes
• Add vegetables and cook for 3 minutes
• Use caution in applying seasoning, I usually do mine at the end cos usually my stock is seasoned...dont want to over 'maggify' the soup.
• Serve with pounded yam, eba, rice, unripe plantain, semovita, fufu.
  

Enjoy your meal...xxx!

Thank u my God!!!!!

Easter is a special time to give thanks to God and it is my opinion that it should be more celebrated than Chrsitmas because the purpose of Christ being born was for Him to be crucified for our salvation. Thus, the essense of Christmas is Easter. I'm grateful to God for everything He has done in my life and I hope you are too. You should be. You are ALIVE. lol. I hope you enjoy this video from Kefee....thats the way we do it in the 9ja Delta!

WHAT DO YOU NOTICE (FIRST) ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Can you imagineeee oooo.... just a little status on my friends page was the cause of an interesting debate. The question was this : WHAT DO YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? and even the same sef. We may proceed.

I commented that i notice the physical first. This includes the person's height, cos the person can be short or tall, fair or dark, white or black , lepa or orobo, you know, things like that.

FURTHERMORE( Capitals for emphasis), i notice the guys outfit, the shoe, the SHAPE OF HEAD (my momma told me that boys with big head will make you have babies with big heads that will tear your vjayjay during labour), i notice the hands, i particularly dont like guys who (train their nails), i.e..keeping it long, especially the pinky one. It just doesnt 'werk' for me. I like it neat and short, and big hands, not tiny ones like mine...big hands make a man seem erm, well, capable innit?lol .Same goes for his physique, some guys just leaaaaaannnnn, some just be like arnold schwarzennn(cant spell it jor). For those that are very muscular it shows that they are either health conscious or very vain! (cos guys with muscles do like to show off, i lie?)

Easter Bunny or???

Happy Easter guys....Im just alone(actually on skype with boyfie) and I could only see how alone I was. I shop alone, cook alone, and eat alone (the only part i like)...and when I do I never feel satisfied. Being a spinster doesnt really rock sometimes, at other times it does :) 

I miss home, and to while away time I decided to make a beautiful tray of grilled chicken...(ooops!, am i supposed to eat meat on good friday? dunno anymore and oh well, mummy isnt here) and yeah yeah, i know i have essays to write and all but I did want to wish someone Happy Easter. Jesus died on the cross just for us, so please make it worthwhile and let His deeds be justified. Isnt He the sweetest????

HOW TO SPOT BUSH PEOPLE

You will hear them playing music from their kpako phone for all to hear. Who told them we want to listen to the screeching noise from that China phone gaan???

When they are in public and their phones ring, they just keep shouting information into the mouth piece. Please keep your voices low. It’s irritating when people scream about their business. Plain BUSH!

When they are in a place that should be quiet e.g Church or class room, they will intentionally forget to put their ever kpaako phones on the silent mode. Obviously, they want us to realize that they have one toy phone that can play “yori yori”.Arrrrrant bushness!

Somebody tell me why someone would plug in earphones into the church, I mean earplugs for phones. Haba, how do you intend to hear what the Preacher said? If I guess right he is obviously preaching that pride goes before a fall. For heaven’s sake, we do not need to know if your phone has earphones or if you can afford Bluetooth. Its very RAZZ and BUSH!

Acts of children gone wrong and a trip down memory lane

I woke up this morning, the sun was shinning, birds were singing…and then she showed up.I was about to start my devotion when she barged into my room like a little tornado, ruining everything with every step she took. One look at her and I knew I was in for another day with oby the mischievious. She went straight for my make up kit and before I could gather my wits she had already taken out the eye shadow and began to rub viciously around her eyes. I do not mess with my make up! As soon as I yelled “drop that! She looked at me and laughed! That annoying laughter that tells you “ha ha ha, im not going to stop, do ur worst” I said ehen? Ok now. Immediately, in one jump I seized my prized objects from her grasp and placed it gently on the bed. And in a stern voice I said “get out! This is Sparta!!! Lol. Not really.

“Oby the mischievious” ran out of my room. I was shocked that she was so obedient. Oby is a strong headed child with the stubbornness of an old goat. “So she can obey instructions”….i mused to myself. I was about to celebrate when I heard the generator give a loud belch. W-h-a-t! I raced towards the Gen house to see what was wrong just in time for me to see Oby the mischievious scurring away like a sly fox. Apparently, the little cheek in annoyance had turned on the iron n some other electric appliances that were not compatible with then small I-better-pass-my-neighbor-generator.”