I know its been a minute, nor mind me. Its my dissertation- I nor know who send me go school! Anyways, make we leave school matter for Mathias. Na tory I wan yarn...
I heard of Fake Butt today…not surgically enhanced, but worn like a dress. As in real fake nnnyyyyaaaaaasssssh! Some girl wore it to my friends wedding in 9ja and I sure say all the guys when dey there don swallow spit tire cos they thot she was Ini Edo, Beyonce or Kim Kardashian. Ive heard of the boob thingy girls wear to enhance their endowments…I think I wore it once sef….lol. But nyash own? That na serious matter oh!
Fake eyelash… fake bobbi… fake nails… fake hair…fake eye colour… fake nyash! What is real then?
I was just wondering in my mind how the girl feel when yesterday her nyash be llike slate and then today e heavy like bagco super sack! Like , do you wake up one blessed morning on the right side of your bed and decide “this nyash too flat, make I buy join”. Do people really do that? lol.I think they do. Ehen, how do they feel when they walk into a shop to buy one?
Girl: ” Madam abeg, give me one yansh there”…
Madam: ” Whish one you want? ‘boys follow me’ or ‘Heavy duty’?
…….Errr…is that how the converstaion goes?lol. Buying online will be easier I guess. Who knows, there might be Buy One Get One Free promo as butts come in pairs.lol
However, I have a huge concern here for all those guys who are celebate and into their Jesus (Im into Jesus as well)…the one’s that abstain from sex and all those rough play boys & girls go dey play for koro….yes, those ‘Christian bros’…how dem wan do now? How do u know if all the endowments Sister Nne has are from heaven? You see sexy looking sister and you feel ‘led’ to know her better, oya 5 months later una don marry, wedding night you open your present and na kpanla dey dia! Nna, serrrious messup!!! Everlasting F**Kup!(In igbo accent)
I wont lie, I’ve always wanted bigger bakkassi and there was a time I prayed so much and hoped one day I’d wake up with Omotola’s butt (In my teenage years). Alas! It never happened. I still like big butt but Im not going to buy one! C’mon! So today you have a bigg ass and tomorrow when you running late for work, you dont? lol. People will start playing ‘spot the difference’ on my borrry? Messup! I still console myself that one day, I fit achieve Omotola’s nyash…she has 4 kids, that might be the trick…I’m gonna have four as well!
So whose fault is it that we all want to have big butts? Is it the society and the media for barraging us with ‘bigger is better’ ads and for promoting the notion that big butt is sexy and sexiness must be something that every girl should possess? D’banj nor just even help us with this his recent endowed video…now the common phrase everywhere is ‘are you endowed’? All dem MTV videos nor go let us hear word, all the girls are perfect;big nyash,big bobbi, long hair…long lashes, lovely skin colour. They make it look like if you are sexy as a girl you will always get what you want and get the richest , and finest dudes. Hence the quote that “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think….” Perhaps we should blame babes for having low self esteem and not being satisfied with their bodies? Now complements like ‘you are really beautiful dont make sense nomore, we want to hear things like ‘you are so endowed’, ‘you are so hot’…’you are so sexy’.
All these fakeness is really shallow, not necessary and not sustenable cos c’mon, you cant wear that nyansh every day. Wetin! Babes abeg, lets just be who we are. Accept all your comma’s. Let a dude love us for our small nyash, afterall we accept them with their ogor raised to power 10, thier akpu belle and their kobo leg. If a guy feels he was cheated when he married you then he is going to cheat on you Cos all the market when you dey sell na fake. Guys, let this be a lesson for you sha, when next you see babe when set, make sure you really confirm whether she dey endowed tru tru or not -not all that juggles is nyash.
So whose fault is it that we all want to have big butts? Is it the society and the media for barraging us with ‘bigger is better’ ads and for promoting the notion that big butt is sexy and sexiness must be something that every girl should possess? D’banj nor just even help us with this his recent endowed video…now the common phrase everywhere is ‘are you endowed’? All dem MTV videos nor go let us hear word, all the girls are perfect;big nyash,big bobbi, long hair…long lashes, lovely skin colour. They make it look like if you are sexy as a girl you will always get what you want and get the richest , and finest dudes. Hence the quote that “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think….” Perhaps we should blame babes for having low self esteem and not being satisfied with their bodies? Now complements like ‘you are really beautiful dont make sense nomore, we want to hear things like ‘you are so endowed’, ‘you are so hot’…’you are so sexy’.
All these fakeness is really shallow, not necessary and not sustenable cos c’mon, you cant wear that nyansh every day. Wetin! Babes abeg, lets just be who we are. Accept all your comma’s. Let a dude love us for our small nyash, afterall we accept them with their ogor raised to power 10, thier akpu belle and their kobo leg. If a guy feels he was cheated when he married you then he is going to cheat on you Cos all the market when you dey sell na fake. Guys, let this be a lesson for you sha, when next you see babe when set, make sure you really confirm whether she dey endowed tru tru or not -not all that juggles is nyash.
