Dem nor dey tell pesin...you experience it and you're like..."why didn't anyone warn me???" When Bobo and I just became new parents we never imagined we would be fighting about the baby...never. We soon realised that a lot of couples actually fight about these things, nobody warned us. I spoke to some friends who were new parents and that was what opened my eyes to common things some new parents fight about.
So what are these fights about?
MONEY
I admit, at some point I went baby shopping crazy! Every romper, onesie, bottle, looked so cute I wanted to buy it all. I would go out to buy diaper and come back with shoes of different sizes, new clothes and so many random things for my baby. Random things that he never used. Like that cute pacifier I bought "just because"...this kind of impulsive spending can cause arguments because every family has a budget and should stick to it. Your baby does not need onesies in every colour of the rainbow.
WHOSE TURN
Yes. Whose turn is it to burn the baby, whose turn is it to change the diaper? Why do I have to be the one to wake up 4 times in the middle of the night and sing the baby back to sleep?My husband asked why I was snoring while he was singing the baby back to sleep. On some days I did it but sometimes you can find yourself asking "whose turn is it"?! Compromise is important when you're a new parent. Compromise and understanding. The sole responsibility of caring for a baby does not depend on one person.
UP BRINGING
As parents, we were once children and our parents brought us up differently, and I find that this can cause a bit of wahala if not properly handled. I remember when my son bit my nipple and I tapped his bumbum, hubby was like "Noooooooooo!" He does not agree that children need a little spanking but I saw it differently "spare the rod and spoil the child"...eeees jus a leeetu tap on the bumbum. We had to find a middle ground.
SEX
When couples fight sometimes and you cannot pin down a concrete reason why they're fighting so much, ask them about their sex life. Women go through the process of carrying the child, emotional, physical and psychological changes, and some men cannot understand how that equals no sex. Playing kuchikuchi is probably not on your list after you've washed, breastfed multiple times, and had a baby burp all over you. Oga plix nothing today, come tomorow.
Highlighting these points is a bid to help other couples that are about to welcome a little one or for those who are already fighting about these things. You are not alone.
Older parents, what did you fight about?
Hahahaha this is so funny and very practical. I'm not married yet but I found this really interesting and educative. Well done Sisi. I love how you play with your words, it makes your posts original and they stand out. Kisses to Titobi
ReplyDeleteHahaha I really love your play with words Sisi.. I found this really interesting and educative.. Kisses to Titobi
ReplyDeleteGreat short and sweet article. Some of these arguments seemed a bit scary to think of. Especially the differences in parenting style and the sex argument. I know how passionate I will be about my parenting style, and I would absolutely hate for my husband and I to fight about differences concerning that. Also it scares me to death to think of my husband ever having a time when he feels sex deprived. I feel like that could cause him to build some kind of resentment towards me, and we would some how lose our close touchiness to each other. I'm sure i'm just overthinking it, and when we start having kids we will work it out, but it just scares me to shreds to even know that it could be a possibility.
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www.gabychronicles.com
XOXO
So true. Never really thought about it that way.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Never really thought about it that way.
ReplyDeleteHilarious post. Hehehehe. Thanks for sharing. I know we'll definitely fight about whose turn is it. I see it coming already. Lol
ReplyDeletebeautifully put. our men need to understand that women need help in terms of childcare and the rest. no woman is built with extra ordinary strength ,rather it is only God's grace that see them through. keep up the good work. regards to your family.
ReplyDeleteAll so true! Especially with the first baby! AndOh the current one in our household is how I'm sick of being the bad cop! I'm the disciplinarian in my home and I find it so annoying! Hubby's always the fun one who they run to when they're upset and I'm the one that has to be tough and say no! I'm getting to that stage where I'm like whatever go and meet your dad and that's that!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to the money bit. Sometimes I just can't stop buying cute stuff for my girls. Playing kuchikuchi is really hard for busy Moms. Lol interesting post!
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Hi Sisi yemmie!this is my first time commenting on your post! I enjoy reading ur blog so much.This post is really spot on!as in......we dey fight all these small small fights we nor dey get head at times ehn,...I appreciate your creativity,keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteLOL @kuchikuchi It's good that you're being real and open about these things so people know they're not alone.
ReplyDeleteIt's Munastic
Uhmmmm!am a new mom, hubby nd I fight abt all dis tinz u mention,but thr's dis particular one I find so annoyin,nd I really need help controllin my feelins, my hubby doesn't like d sound of my baby cryin, it irritates him, he shouts at her when she does, most times he dumps her on d bed, leaves her thr to cry to her satisfactn,d other day he shouts at her nd said, ''o Lord wat kind of problems is dis in my life'' imagine dat? I nearly weap dat day, hw can a cryin baby be a problem to his life? when d baby cries its my baby, when she is in a good, playful mood its His baby, I really feel so bad,terrible when he gets really anoyed with a 2months old baby.I get really scared leavin d baby to go get somethin across d road. I need advice!
ReplyDeleteYour husband maybe going through post "papa-depression" !!! Mschewwwww that being said, you guys need to sit down and talk, Oga you can't be shouting at a 2month old baby, someone needs to talk to him(his mum or yours) or simply tell him to stop touching YOUR baby because crying is the only way they can express themselves, over time he will get the message and know you mean business....
DeleteHe should know that the one thing he doesn't appreciate another man is dying to have.Some men are looking for a child or children that will cry all day and vomit all night just as long as it belongs to them.Maybe tell a family member that can help with the issue.It's a sad thing to hear.
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Sisi we experience all the issues you stated above and I especially do not like to be the one to rock baby when she cries or even change diaper because some men believe it is solely the woman's job.No! we made the baby together and there is nothing wrong if we share responsibilities.If it's something I do better then no problem but other simple things we can take turns to do.
Deletewww.cheecheelive.com
Hahaha my dear am laughing because you not looking at the problem.
DeleteYour husband is irritated by her crying. He is frustrated. That's a Daddy's girl. It hurts him she is crying and he can't sooth her out of it. The sound of wailing irritates him for a personal reason that resonates sad ness. was he the one always crying?? someone in the past cried God bless.
Sisi Yemmie!! Hilarious as ever - "Oga pls come tommorrow"..... Wonderful Insight...
ReplyDeleteHahahahaaaaaa Sisi kuku kee me ooo
ReplyDeleteYour choice of words ehnnnn
Lol. Great Post! Even in the place of understanding, we still tend to have our misunderstandings. But a bit of sacrifice can save the couple from fights. New moms are kinda more sensitive and get a bit irritated due to the fact that they are often stressed out and it seems all the burden is on their head. Husbands need to understand this so that the marriage can ride smoothly. But with witty but insightful posts like this, you will know what you are in for before you get there...tighten your buckles before you start the race so you dont stumble. Nice one, aunt sisi. #crushingonbobo
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Nice.....I learnt so much from this post
ReplyDeleteIn response to Ruth Sam, I'll say u r not alone girl. some wives do have them. When u have a husband like that, just accept it as your cross and do your bit as a strong determined mother that u are. he would eventually take solace in your dexterity and strength. hugs
ReplyDeleteSisi Yemmie, your missed out one major reason - ROOM TEMPERATURE! i would always increase the AC temperature to keep the room warm as i was worried my baby would catch a cold. Once i turned my back, he reduces it again. We quarrelled alot about this. It didnt last long though as i soon began to notice heat rash on my baby and quickly adjusted.
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Lol! Very funny but true Sisi Yemmie. Discipline and money are two of the major things parents disagree about. Why don't men understand how cute onesies, and babies/toddlers cloths in general are?:-).
ReplyDelete@Ruth Sam, I agree with other contributors who've said you should get elders of the family to speak with your husband. Having a new baby can be a shock even to some women, so it could be he needs help adjusting to the change.
hmmm..this is my first post on your blog tho im an avent reader. Wifey and I are expecting our first child and i am really pondering about all you said...hilarious tho but im also hoping we will be able to surmount whatever challenge that may come up....i have actually sent wifey the link to this post as well...i will wait to see her comment! keep up d gud work Sisi Yemmie and regards to Tito.
ReplyDeleteWe don't argue. Over here, one person is always right and the other is the husband. :D
ReplyDeleteShe claimed that her Breastfeeding did not interfere with her teaching or her other school and work activities.
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