Dem nor dey tell pesin…you experience it and you’re like…”why didn’t anyone warn me???” When Bobo and I just became new parents we never imagined we would be fighting about the baby…never. We soon realised that a lot of couples actually fight about these things, nobody warned us. I spoke to some friends who were new parents and that was what opened my eyes to common things some new parents fight about.
So what are these fights about?
MONEY
I admit, at some point I went baby shopping crazy! Every romper, onesie, bottle, looked so cute I wanted to buy it all. I would go out to buy diaper and come back with shoes of different sizes, new clothes and so many random things for my baby. Random things that he never used. Like that cute pacifier I bought “just because”…this kind of impulsive spending can cause arguments because every family has a budget and should stick to it. Your baby does not need onesies in every colour of the rainbow.
WHOSE TURN
Yes. Whose turn is it to burn the baby, whose turn is it to change the diaper? Why do I have to be the one to wake up 4 times in the middle of the night and sing the baby back to sleep?My husband asked why I was snoring while he was singing the baby back to sleep. On some days I did it but sometimes you can find yourself asking “whose turn is it”?! Compromise is important when you’re a new parent. Compromise and understanding. The sole responsibility of caring for a baby does not depend on one person.
UP BRINGING
As parents, we were once children and our parents brought us up differently, and I find that this can cause a bit of wahala if not properly handled. I remember when my son bit my nipple and I tapped his bumbum, hubby was like “Noooooooooo!” He does not agree that children need a little spanking but I saw it differently “spare the rod and spoil the child”…eeees jus a leeetu tap on the bumbum. We had to find a middle ground.
SEX
When couples fight sometimes and you cannot pin down a concrete reason why they’re fighting so much, ask them about their sex life. Women go through the process of carrying the child, emotional, physical and psychological changes, and some men cannot understand how that equals no sex. Playing kuchikuchi is probably not on your list after you’ve washed, breastfed multiple times, and had a baby burp all over you. Oga plix nothing today, come tomorow.
Highlighting these points is a bid to help other couples that are about to welcome a little one or for those who are already fighting about these things. You are not alone.
Older parents, what did you fight about?
