I remember when I was a smallie…I did something bad and my mama flog me. After flogging she now said I should go and eat. Eat wetin? For my mind I said I will show her pepper, so I said what any angry (deranged) person would say…
‘I’m not hungry’
For my mind I dey feel say e go pain her…but I was hungry men. The lions and hyena’s in my tummy were already screaming and insulting me, but I lock up. I bone.
If you have to get angry, do it well.
So I went inside my room picked up a book and started reading…. the words became hazy and I suddenly felt like the earth was spinning aha, but I kept my focus and kept reading. 2 hours later I have not turned the page, I was reading. Well, I wasn’t. My brain don hang.
Then I started strategising …how I was going to go to the pot of soup and take small when everybody don sleep. Of all days for people in my family to stay up late it was this one. There’s no way I will cross from the room to the kitchen without anyone seeing me. No, I cannot fall my hand. I must vex all night long to prove my point. If I want to be a gordon’s I should even refuse breakfast, after all, my mates in somalia have not eaten for 6 days and den never die…’no, you can’t die immediately from hunger’, I reasoned, ‘you go first thin for like one week before the hunger go kill you BUT by then my mother should have realised her mistake and begged me to eat’! At this stage I’m not sure what point I was trying to prove.
O’boy… how many dots dey this my ceiling sef, I started counting. I’ve never noticed this ceiling before. Interesting. And I’ve lived here for 14 years. Hmmmm…. *counting* 1, 2, 3,4,5,6,,8,9,11,15,18,…3,6,4…oh where was I again? This counting is confusing me. “No fool” my stomach hissed, ‘you’re killing me’! This hunger is doing me strong thing, its like I’m about to faint….I’m getting dizzy…I think I can actually see stars. I’m not joking I can see stars! Ok, I’m getting delirious with hunger…I heard my father’s footstep as he locked the doors to the house and retired for the night.
ALLELU!
I tiptoed like a cat, gently…gently….3 more glorious steps and I’m in the kitchen….the animal kingdom in my stomach were rejoicing because the kind of sounds that was coming from there nor be small. Immediately I wan pass the dinning table I freeze…I saw plate of food there covered…’what is this food doing here…’? Before I could even complete my thoughts my mother arrived in the doorway and said… ‘you better eat before you die of hunger. If you wan vex you can vex but make sure you eat that food’.
Damn!
I don’t know if it is hunger or humility that made me sit transfixed to swallow the eba I was trying to vex not to eat. That day I learnt one lesson sha…. NOT that mothers are kind. (They’re angels actually)
I learnt : That who dey vex, dey see road. Don’t vex and refuse food because you need to food to fuel the anger! This is why I feel sorry for men who refuse to eat their wife’s food to show her ‘pepper’…. OYO!
When you dey vex you dey chop? I want to know how angry you guys get.
