Whose chair is it anyways???

Hello people’s! Longtime no write. Make una no vex because na condition make crayfish bend. 

Anyways, I was at an event and I was really enjoying myself …but I was uncomfortable and I felt I had to go to the toilet to adjust something-you know that unease you get on the first day of your FIRST period and you feel EVERYBODY can see your Always Pad through your double layered jeans (not you guys). Anyhow sha, by the time I got back to my seat, I met one mister man trying to chairnap my chair, he was shifting my Jacket, my purse from my seat.

Sisi:”Hi, that’s my bag you’re moving and I was seated here” I said producing my colgate sweet sixteen smile-it always works (and of course I can speak ‘good english’)

Guy: “I will put in the next chair so you can seat inside”  he totally ignored my smile…

Sisi: *blank stare*

Mister man proceeds to give me the ‘ladies first’ gesture…Me? Siddon for the inside chair? he never hala! It was beginning to look awkward as e kon be like say we be small shidren dragging for chair.

This will require diplomacy and I was doing my best not to laugh.

Sisi: “Errm, perhaps you don’t understand me, I was sitting here and these are my things, you just can’t move them” with the d’uh look on my face, I was tired of smiling jor…why is he still holding my purse?

Guy: “I prefer to sit on this chair so I can see the front properly…” he said firmly looking down at me…
This will require the Holy Spirit, not just diplomacy.
Help me people…if he wanted to see the front properly why did he think I was sitting there? why didn’t he come early if na so he wan see front? 

Before dude knew wassup I don pluck my bag commot from his hand and gum my nyansh to the chair.
Guy: totally shocked he muttered a half baked “excuse me I said...”
*GBOSA*

He don jam rock. He huffed and puffed and finally went to conquer another ‘outside chair’ behind me. I am a trouble maker I know, but he started it! LOL. Does he know we are in Obodo oyibo? you CANNOT just displace me from my seat because you are in the mood my fren! Get thee behind me!

I remember numerous occasions where I have had to shift from the ‘outside chair’ because some people feel as elders/males those chairs belong to them. If it is an elderly person, I comport.  If its a guy…wey I don gauge to be my age mate e go hard. I was about to enter a car one day and the guy seated inside came down for me to enter…why? I asked why he did that and he told me I was disrespectful to him by me not agreeing to sit inside. I also remember sitting in a car and another guy told me ‘shift’ inside. (I clearly need my own car) What kind of talk is this? This is 2011!