IF NA JOKE…

My Friend: So how did you kill that rat?

Me: Na my dog catch am oh

Both of us laugh hysterically…..

My friend: he he he kif kif kif ha ha ha…YOU hehe THIS hehe GIRL snort YOU BE MONKEY OH hehehe…

All I hear is screeching tyres……say whaaaaaat?

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Back to sender, you sef na chimpanzee…taaa!

If na joke abeg stop am! Shoooooo…! Me with you dey laugh and the next thing you jokingly say is “you’re stupid oh….this girl is a fool”…while laughing and knacking me small. Make una see me see trouble. I’ve noticed for a very loooong time now how when we joke with friends we just say things that we don’t pay attention to. Rememeber how you just randomly call your friend “ode, ure such a case”! I don’t know when that became a compliment or when it became funny. Like, would you be laughing with Oprah and say…”u be mumu oh…ure sooo funny!”

A friend of mine(one of my besties) in the “Amelica”once started a chat with me, and the first line was “Hello bitch”…ehn?!!! ki lo so? I asked…”why did you say that”? and the reply was “lighten up, its just a joke, i call all my female friends here bitch”…Ori mi oh.(my head o)…Is that how they talk in America niyen? I quickly requested for an apology and for the word to be taken back. I no dey like that kain joke…I don’t know when “Bitch or Hoe” became a compliment…

I strongly believe that we can alter things with our words, just the way God said “Let there be light”….and then there was light! There is sooo much power in the tongue, my parents, my grandma, Pastor and all my days of watching Nollywood movies has taught me this. I will not now open my eyes and let someone be shѐ-ing ѐpѐ (place curses) on me while we are laughing ! Abeggoooo.

I know parents who bless their kids even when they are so pissed. Instead of yelling ”you stupid boy, with your head like coconut”! Its much more constructive to yell “you this blessed boy, with your head like that of a king”…I’ve heard parents say this, and believe me I laughed!!! Retrospectively, I think they actually know what they are doing….you can’t call your son Coconut head and then expect a coconut head to carry first for class!

I understand that we joke or are pissed off when we say these things, but lets not get carried away oh…hian! I used to be so guilty of saying “goat” to friends ..lol…but after a while I tried to stop it.  Sometimes it’s at the tip of my tongue and i just swallow it. The next time you’re about to say “goat” “ode”, “olodo” “idiot” “mumu”…to ya friend just edit it and put “fine girl” dia!

Abi am I paranoid? lol

P.S  A friend’s mother has been diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. She needs $60,000 for the operation to remove her left breast. Please visit www.wepay.com/donate/92676 to read more and to donate any amount possible. Lets show some love here. Thanks!!!