A lot of people will say "how is this a big deal"? but until you're in that situation, you may not realise that IT IS A BIG DEAL! Especially here in Nigeria where Marriage is the ultimate achievement! My friend sent me a message asking how I coped when my younger sister got married before me, because her younger sister is getting married and she wants to handle this situation properly.
For some people there might be a bit of jealousy, or envy or that "one kind feeling" and it's okay. You want good things too. I definitely did not feel envy or jealousy but I felt like as a "Senior sister" and "first born" I did not follow schedule, so that was where my own pressure came from. My mates are married. And so? My younger sister is getting married. And So? Life na turn by turn. You have to remember that.
For Big Sis, make sure you are happy for her. Of course you are happy, but you know how emotions can sometimes get in the way of the happiness. If you cause one bit of drama, your motives can easily be misinterpreted. You don't want that. Be happy for and with your sister, enjoy helping her prepare for the big day as much as you can! In fact go out of your way to make everything stress free for her. It's also a way to "Sow" into your future.
As for lil sis getting married, be sensitive to everyone's feelings. There's no need to start unnecessary drama or reading meaning into things that are not there. Avoid snide comments and back talk. Make sure you get married with all your relationships intact! Be respectable in everything you do. If you feel your sister is acting weird, you can ask her out to lunch and talk about it.
Find out how much more I said in the video. Have you ever been in this situation? How did it go?
Sisi, baye se ri niyen jare. My younger sister got married before me, even had a 3yr old before I married and I didn't feel anyhow. Life goes on, no biggie.
ReplyDeleteMy younger sis first child is 6 now....Life goes on
DeleteHave seen this scenerio, where an elder sister tried to ruin her sister's engagement. It ended up with the guy calling everything off...
ReplyDeleteI was genuinely happy when my sister got married! We never had any issues before, during or even after the wedding. I put in alot of work during the wedding to see that everything went well and it did! I was too busy to think about what people had to say or even to think about and feel sorry for myself. I think the reason there were no issues was because we already had a strong bond and so it was easy to sacrifice everything for her happiness. I remember as a little child people used to say she was prettier than myself. One day it caused serious drama between my friend and I (She kept repeating how much prettier my sister was than I, and I eventually screamed at her) and after I cried and we resolved the issue, I swore never to let jealousy get in the way of my relationships. It worked for me and we are the best of friends!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the post-like comment!
I was genuinely happy when my sister got married! We never had any issues before, during or even after the wedding. I put in alot of work during the wedding to see that everything went well and it did! I was too busy to think about what people had to say or even to think about and feel sorry for myself. I think the reason there were no issues was because we already had a strong bond and so it was easy to sacrifice everything for her happiness.
ReplyDeletePutting myself in your shoe Sisiyemmie that time, am not really sure of how i will compose myself but i will try to
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I didn't feel bad and I'm not feeling bad at the moment .life is turn by turn, destiny differs. God has a purpose for everything . At first, I was surprised being the first child, first daughter and that was just it. But u know God works in a misteruois way,i started dating shorty after she came up with the news. My guy was also very supportive before, during the wedding. Yes poeple talked but it didn't get hold on me coz I know who I am. She might have acted awkward in one way or the other but I took it that she's being childish and will come over it and that was it.
ReplyDeleteOf a truth it is not all that easy your younger sister marrying before you. It is a better option to give her every support and to see her success in her marriage. Personally i have seen this happen, an older sister spotted during her younger sister's traditional marriage because she was every where running around to see the success of the marriage. Herself got married two weeks after to a man that attended her younger sister's traditional marriage.
ReplyDeleteFar from hate or jealousy, a very confused feelings make my tears come down. I will tell you about me and you tell me how would you feel if it was you.. I live where there is no marriage by love but arranged .. A family would choose a girl for her son .. We are 3 sisters. I'm the middle, they many times chose my younger sister over me though their sons are older than me. She always refused them . Then another family ,whose son is just in my age, proposed to my older sister who is 6 years older than him. She had married and right after that a family proposed to my younger sister again, he is 10 years older than me.. She married him. I actually don't care about marrige, especially this stupid blind way of marrige but who would belive me? the truth I don't want to marry .. It just a strong strange feeling of being undesirable .. They choose depnding on appearnce only. .. So am I so ugly? I never saw myself so ugly person but start to belive it .. I'm very short and thin ... And I dont know..sometims i'm very careless and confident and anothertime i feel very miserable ..
ReplyDeleteFar from hate or jealousy, a very confused feelings make my tears come down. I will tell you about me and you tell me how would you feel if it was you.. I live where there is no marriage by love but arranged .. A family would choose a girl for her son .. We are 3 sisters. I'm the middle, they many times chose my younger sister over me though their sons are older than me. She always refused them . Then another family ,whose son is just in my age, proposed to my older sister who is 6 years older than him. She had married and right after that a family proposed to my younger sister again, he is 10 years older than me.. She married him. I actually don't care about marrige, especially this stupid blind way of marrige but who would belive me? the truth I don't want to marry .. It just a strong strange feeling of being undesirable .. They choose depnding on appearnce only. .. So am I so ugly? I never saw myself so ugly person but start to belive it .. I'm very short and thin ... And I dont know..sometims i'm very careless and confident and anothertime i feel very miserable ..
ReplyDeleteI'm 20 and I'm the first child. I honestly don't think it's something I'd like to experience. I may not be able to handle it.
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