Before I got married people did not let me hear word-it was as if they looked for different opportunities to remind me that, Nne, time is no longer on your side, a woman is like a flower and withers quickly, "ale obirin o kin kpe su"...they were only wishing me well. It is good to get married early (if it happens) but if it doesn't...here are 7 reasons why getting married later is not a terrible thing.
1.
You have time to DISCOVER yourself. The emphasis is on "discovery" because a lot of people go through life not knowing who they really are, the more you wait before getting married the more you're likely to discover yourself, your ideal career and generally the type of life you want.
2.
Perspectives change as we get older. What I liked and wanted when I was 19 totally changed when I was in my mid twenties-even though I could swear say na like this I like my own thing at 25, I ended up not liking at 27. People change, give yourself allowance to grow and change.
3.
You have time to be "free". Make decisions without real consequences. Travel. You can even afford to live from alert to alert without any sense of responsibility. Why do you think there's the term "responsible married man/woman"? You can buy anything with your last dime. Sleep over at your friends house 3 times a week...you no send anybody. Go on soun, explore!
4.
You grow up. Maturity for some people is not about age, but with age comes experience and experience teaches you how to handle life. Your expectations are more realistic-you don't believe marriage is about taking selfies, seksing and living happily ever after. Marriage is not for children.
5.
Build your future. If you're smart, the time before you get married is time you can use to focus on your career, start a business, even it it fails, you start again all because of point 3. Invest your self in building and saving for your future because marriage may "slow you down" career wise if you're a woman.
6.
You know what you want. Not because you know it all but because you've had time to discover yourself, what you like and what you refuse to deal with (I use the term "refuse" because it's a choice you're making to deal with something or not). You basically know yourself and now you know yourself you know what you who and what you want in a relationship and marriage.
7.
You are grateful. When you eventually get married you appreciate it more because you remember all the times you spent catching bouquets at all your friends weddings (not that it's a terrible thing). Single? You've been there, done that and you are 100% in this phase of life you're in now. You do not feel like you missed out on anything.
These are some of the many advantages of getting married later so if you're still single...enjoy it while it lasts and appreciate every season of your life. Let me know if you got married later and the advantages and disadvantages you faced in the comments section.
Great post andI agree with a lot of these points. But I'm curious - what age are we calling later, from 30yo, or 25 or 40?
ReplyDeleteso true mami,sometimes i wish i waited a little before getting married,sometimes i wish i had my dream job,enjoy life,flex,do a whole crazy stuff.but its all well and good,well i didnt allow marriage limit me in some areas tho,but it cant be compared when i was single.because marriage comes with lot of responsibilities.so if you are still single enjoy your time while it lasts.
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Loved this
ReplyDeleteIya Chief, you just killed the truth jare. I'm 27 yrs old, single and told to Holla me when Mr. Right comes.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, I am happy abt this, cos I knw myself beta and this period in my life I have been more spiritual than religious. Since I am late according to people's clock, I have been more productive, mature too.
I would just prefer that all this people asking me about when I will bring husband, will pray for me and counsel me more.
I agree with all the points you made. The issue is many single ladies are not single in mind, so they never enjoy their singleness because of societal pressure.
ReplyDeleteThe Devil's Agenda for the Church
Enjoyed reading.....very true maturity doesn't come with age and people value more things that didn't come so quick or easy.
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Nice write up sisiyemmie but I don't totally agree with some of the points..for instance,i think life is in phases and if you like something at 27, you may not like it again at 40,because we keep changing.. I also think that getting married later still comes with the pressure of giving birth,as soon as a 30year old lady gets married, people will start putting pressure on her again for children and it wouldn't have been the case if she'd gotten married at 25.
ReplyDeleteGenerally,i think some people are meant to get married early while some are meant to get married later and life will still be sweet for both categories.
Why should a woman make her marriage goal based on what people will have to say. You shouldn't get married or start having children simply because of "pressure". It is 100% your life, no one else is living it for you, not even the people pressurizing you. I think her advice is perfect! There really is no such thing as marrying late if you ask me. As long as you are still of child bearing age, you are getting married on time! I know women who are still having kids at 42, yes I said 42! And those kids are beautiful, healthy and strong! Thanks SISI!
DeleteLady G
www.gabychronicles.blogspot.com
XOXO
May God allow us see ourselves the way HE sees us..
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This is such a timely article. I'm in my late 20s and truly,lots of well-meaning folks have been asking questions. Please, I'll just chill, prepare myself and then enjoy marriage when it happens.
ReplyDeleteI really agree with you.I got married at a very young age.Something I would´t advice my own daughter to do if I had one.You miss on many things and you can,later in life,regret making that decision because,as you said, what you wanted at 23 its not what you would want at 27 or 33.
ReplyDeleteMarriage it´s not an easy task and,even though I was not forced into it, it now comes to my mind that i´m more ready to get married ,at my present age than I was when I got married.Women can still bear children until 50 years and depends on the individual..even more.
I was not born and brought up in Nigeria,and been there only 2 times..but i´ve heard about the pressure women face concerning this issue.Many of their beliefs concerning women´s life and marriage are not more than that..beliefs.In Europe you see women getting married at 35-40 without issues and having kids without problems.I strongly believe the more you live your single season..the more you will enjoy your marriage and husband.
Nice!
DeleteThere's wisdom here
DeleteVery True
DeleteSisi...you are in the spirit! I wrote a lil bit about me thankfully not being married yet on my new blog wey still dey "totori" me. Despite Naija & pressure from left n right...I'm so glad I hadn't gotten married. Thanks for reminding "us". :)
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*The plain and simple truth* I tell every single person I meet to enjoy his/her time as a single person to the fullest and not dwell on the fact they are not yet married. The are so much out there to achieve (and discover) before marriage.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your points. i am in my 30s but i realized that getting married is not the issue but staying married and getting married to the right person. am sure soon ......
ReplyDeletethanks to God i have a job, a good biz and planning on going into another soon!!!.
i think its good to get to know your self, what you want in life and how to reach your goals before getting married becos according to my married friends , marriage kind of take a lot of things from you but if you start something good before marriage and God giving you a good partner then you are good to go.
Bless you Sisi Yemmie
Great post! tnx for sharing
ReplyDeleteHmmm Iya, so much said abt d adv. What abt d disadv. Like I got married at 38 now 40 and eagerly trying for a baby. Still waiting n time no dey. So I guess we should like fix a date max.to slow down, get married and have a baby. Then continue d husstle.
ReplyDeletewhether you get married early or late is a personal thing but maturity is what keeps u in it not age. priorities change with age you say but i still see some matured women who are married but don't respect their age. but your points are accepted even though in my opinion doing it early and having kids early too gives you time to organize your life better and i have seen a lot of people do that . personally i wont want to have kids when am 30. i will write a post on benefits of getting married in early in my blog and i will put a link to this post so my readers will compare both sides. http://www.justfarbblog.com. it's a women lifestyle blog
ReplyDeleteNice piece here,Sisiyemmie, to all the singles out there never allow the pressure of 'what people will say' push you to make a very wrong decision for your life, you have the rest of your life to live in the marriage, why the rush? na life contract oooooo..
ReplyDeleteIf to say person tell me this thing two years ago, I for say na lie but true talk. Take time to sort yourself out and really enjoy a fulfilling life. Come to think of it, no be everybody go marry so if you live for 85 years. That would be eighty-five years of being miserable over one single situation. Just ain't worth it.
ReplyDeleteWell, sisi you have a point, while I agree that you should allow yourself time to discover yourself and be in a really good place with yourself, when u meet that special someone, there's no need to hold back. Am a final year student and I used to always say I'd like to work for a few years after graduation, but right now I can't wait to marry my boo. And if he asked me to marry him next week, I definitely will.
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This just touched me, i am 29, and the pressure is just too much,but i have told my parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings and even friends to stop pressurizing me, every lady has her own appointed time to get married, whether young, old or 'later '...........God's time is the best, every lady should discover herself before settling down.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as a single lady, learn to be happy being single, dont let a relationship determine your level of happiness.
Good job my name sake, 'sisi yemi, orekelewa' as im fondly called by my family members, lol....keep it up!
Will be 23 soon...graduating this year by God grace,tho not in a relationship at the moment...but I won't lie,am dying to meet someone serious! I would love to get married early...everybody timing is different,God deals with Time,Kadara everybody yato jareh! One should just be praying for God to perfect all that concerns them in his own timing... sisi yemmie I love your write up,especially where u talked about discovery and getting to know oneself,it just stirred something up in me! As I dey pray for bae,make I dey do things wey go better my life too...much love to chief ooo!
ReplyDeleteall the above comments have their points, but really there should be no issues about marriage being ‘early’ or ‘late’. The point really is not the time as people count time but with rightness of time as regards to the individuals involved
ReplyDeleteThough I agree with sisi, but it's better getting having ur kids at a young age medically speaking .there is a lot of positives to having ur children at a younger age some of which are ,high IQ ,high immunity,healthy baby and as the mother u regain ur body back in time as though u Neva had a baby.both side have it's advantages,the question I think I'll ask myself before getting married is 1. Why am I getting married 2.is he d right person 3.is he God's will 4 me
ReplyDeleteThis is super interesting. I am 29, and the main reason i wanted to be married earlier was to have children earlier and be done with that sooner than later. But I am in my season of singleness right now and making the most of it because all my closest friends are either married and starting to have children or planning weddings and although I look forward to my time, there is a lot for me to appreciate in my current season and feel blessed about such as, if a work opportunity comes up across the world and I'm interested, I can just get up and go without wahala from anyone. Or I have been focusing on my relationship with God and walking in my purpose for the Lord without distractions. It's just best to appreciate every season of your life and make the most of it.
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This post is so timely for me. I am 29 tomorrow and single again. Yet, I totally agree with Sisi Yemmie. I love the points. Discover yourself, build a career, travel... And i totally practice what I preach. The summary for me is when its time, when you are with the right person, you will know. And I've not had a single regret. My dear Sisi Yemi Orekelewa and Eliane, #NoPressures o!
ReplyDeleteReally good points although I I am of the opinion that being married doesn't stop your expectations and desires from changing as you age,I really don't think that has anything to do with being single or married, rather experience and exposure.
ReplyDeleteI my own opinion is really okay to enjoy life a little bit. visit my blog www.obiozorjudith.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI like this piece! I got married at age 27, became a mother at age 29...God receives all the glory. I always tell my younger ones, especially the ladies, to enjoy their single hood. Every time I remember how I rocked my single hood (traveling, being independent, finding my self, learning more about how men are different from women as I grew old) I feel satisfied that I enjoyed that phase of my life. Today, I'm happy and proud to be a wife & mother because I've reached that stage of my life. Marrying late may seem bad sometimes especially if it takes a really long toll (e.g. for most pple from 35-40 years) but at the end of the day, every woman should try and enjoy their singlehood while they wait for Mr. Right. And when you do that, God will bring the right man to you. Nice piece again, Sisi Yemi *thumbs up*
ReplyDeleteGood article sisi yemmie,Don't Give Up ladies. keep doing what you're doing to be happy. Whether you're single or married! Enjoy the life God has given us. Hear my song I've written, titled "Don't Give Up" at http:/cdbaby.com/cd/caldenmoye2 ...feel free to download it.
DeleteSis Yemmie your so lucky my husband treats me like rubbish wakes up in the morning walks past me criticises me at every opportunity I wished I never got married it's so obvious that he married me to get his stay in the country he's an adulter and lier he always finds a away to bring me down I have three children
ReplyDeleteOh dear anonymous! I am pretty certain you are not rubbish! I pray for strength for you in the midst of this. Please fill yourself with God's love and remind yourself of your worth in Him. You are a great wife and mother! Try not to act same with him (I know that is difficult) because evil never corrects evil.
DeleteThough I got married when I was 23, I find this post very true.
ReplyDeletei tell people when i turned 30 i still wasn't thinking of marriage because marriage isn't something you just jump into and truly like you said Sisi its about DISCOVERING yourself. Now i can tell the kind of men i am attracted too and can clearly define my expectations. I have friends who have had (or having) good, bad and ugly marriages and i am learning. I tell people when it eventually happens i think i have learnt a lot to keep it for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true,it gives you the opportunity to learn from people's marriages whether good or bad...this is so impt. I think what Sisi says is true.besides no be man they find woman? So my soulmate found and married me at 33 & 34 resp.Had my 1st cute fine healthy BBB at 35.Got back to shape after abt 6mths and currently expecting another all thanks to Almighty.I am comfortable with who i am and handling my home well(though not easy).I strongly believe i'm doing better than i would have done if i had married earlier.Time truly allows you to grow.
Deletenice tips . i will keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful write up. It is good to wait for the right time. No hurry hurry
ReplyDelete