Lately, there has been so much higgihagga online about a certain married man that impregnated his side chic while his popular wife and their entire relationship/marriage is being dissected to pieces on twitter, Facebook, BBM...everywhere.
O ma se oh.
Cheating is one of the worst forms of betrayal in a relationship and it is very difficult to deal with. It's not as easy as Stay or Go and there are so many emotions the "cheatee" goes through. You can cry oh- e go pain you but make e end there. Here are some things you should not do if your man cheats on you:
BLAME YOURSELF
In Nigeria if your husband is stingy, it's your fault, if he beats you-it must have been something you said to annoy him and if he cheats? You definitely caused it. Perhaps it the wrapper you tie across your chest that is turning him off, or the weight you've not been able to shed after 4 pregnancies or...your career is getting in the way. My dear, it is not your fault; People are quick to blame the woman-don't blame yourself. Even if you were Olori pretty, most perfect woman in the world, a man that wants to cheat will do so-with even a mad woman.
FIGHT THE OTHER WOMAN
Wetin concern agbero with overload? She's not the cause, just a participant unless she use jazz to hold your man down. Even if na jazz, you should not go and be confronting her but get on your knees and hand it over to your Jehovah Jireh. The person you should face is the one that you had an agreement with. Don't concern yourself with fighting the "other woman" and demanding that she stays off or returns your man (you go think say man na biro wey dem dey carry upandan).
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES
Don't get it twisted. Cheating is a choice. Do not convince yourself that "all men cheat" and so it's going to be one time or the other...."Oh men are built to be polygamous by nature"...Taaaa! Don't say to yourself that men only think with their limpopo-I'd like to give men a little bit of credit-they actually have sense. Don't excuse nonsense behaviour because truth be told, if you flip the script, your guy go don bail immediately he's aware of your infidelity. No time. See this post on LIES WOMEN BELIEVE ABOUT MEN
STAY IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY
A cheating spouse can cause the other person to crase-can emotionally drain, can cause low self esteem, can increase your blood pressure, can give you nyamayama diseases aka STD's, can disgrace you, can cause anger issues, can make you suicidal...yes, it can kill you. If you're depressed and you decide to just "hang in there" ...you're doing yourself more harm. You only have one life-don't let someone's poor choices and selfishness (cheating is selfish) take away the joy of living.
Thank you o for this reminder
ReplyDeletePosted right on time! There are so many heart broken women out there. . . God help us!
ReplyDeleteSo on point..
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CHEATING IS A CHOICE. PERIOD.
ReplyDeleteVery true!!!!
ReplyDeleteWord!
ReplyDeleteGbammm!!!! Word
ReplyDeleteMore young women need to hear this message.
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cheating is such an ugly thing and the ultimate betrayal and disrespect on all levels really. I think the problem with how us women tend to handle is is due to how emotional we are by nature and when emotions are driving a reaction, it is likely not the appropriate reaction to have (i.e. blaming the other woman instead of the man himself) but when you're fueled by anger, hurt, pain, etc...all sense of logic or rationale goes out the window. great post! xx
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spot on missy
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree less. The 'blame the woman' syndrome is so strong in our part of getting world and it's so sad.
ReplyDeleteGreat points and this jumped at me from point 2.
ReplyDelete"Even if na jazz, you should not go and be confronting her but get on your knees and hand it over to your Jehovah Jireh. The person you should face is the one that you had an agreement with."
What if you didn't have an agreement with God on the marriage? You went ahead without seeking His will or simply ignoring Him?
God restores..but truth is we should try to get it right before we go in. Atleast if something happens, we know we can hold God to His end without shaking..
True. No need blaming yourself. E no easy...but you gotta move on.
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tnx for this write up. please visit my blog www.obiozorjudith.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteClean blog, gud tip
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog and love your spirit in writing keep it up ma
ReplyDeleteCheating is something that takes a lot of decision to make and stay tuned to the made decision, sometimes its not bad if you pray for the cheater...
If you are heart broken from a relationship I recommend this post for you to read...
You can also read http://www.seyiadesina.com/word/15-things-a-lady-should-know-after-her-break-up/
You can take your time to read through mine too
Very interesting piece sisiyemi. I like your 2nd point which is "Fighting the other woman". A lot of ladies are guilty of this. They create time chasing and confronting the wrong person instead of sitting their man down and talking sense into him and also get on their knees to pray to God. The so-called man in question, if not married to either the main or side chick, might eventually leave both of them and marry one virgin from the village. So, who is at loss?
ReplyDeleteInfidelity is one aspect in a relationship whereby it gives you a clear view of how your marriage will be like and what the other person is capable of doing. If your mind strong reach to dey cheap on your partner once, you fit try am again. Once beaten, twice shy. So its wise and imperative for intending couples to make up their mind before going into something they can't withstand for life.
Most importantly, ask God for his leading and direction...