Wedding Palava...

'Heysssssss..... sssssss ssssssss' 

I pretend I nor hear and I keep walking...ever so briskly!

One woman shouts in the distance 'call that girl for me, the one wey wear yellow'... A guy taps me on the shoulder...'sist, that aunty dey call you,' he says flailing his arm behind him

I've been pretending I didn't hear her calling me. I turned around with a plastered smile on my face

'Aunty good afternoon', I said  curtsying, 

'ehen my dear, how are you? come and see all of us in this area have not eaten oh'...I glance around and see empty plates of demolished food.

'ok ma I will direct the ushers to you'  I thank her for coming and walk away.These people will not let me be sexy today. With all the gele skentele I tie, they're still disturbing me. Can't they see I am the sister of the bride ni ...

I quickly grabbed one usher, 'abeg you see those women there', I point, 'go serve dem food'

Now let me disappear before som- I did not even finish processing that thought in my head and one iya agba dragged my arms, 'So you cannot greet ehn? abi is this not yemi?'.

 Mo gbe!

'Ah mummy' I said, and promptly dropped to my knees; in this yoruba culture every lady old enough to born you is referred to as 'mummy'

 'ehen, omo dada, omo daddy, o ti jo baba e ju' (you look so much like your dad) she grinned, rubbing my back and the other iya's murmured, some agreeing, some scrutinizing my face...I just knelt there smiling like a rabbit.

'Oya take', and she handed me a huge food flask, 'give it to your mummy, tell her its from so and so ladies club'

'Thank you ma'  I carried myself and the flask wavering slightly because the koi-koi shoe  I wear no let me balance well, all this I'm doing while trying to look sexy in my Iro and Buba. 

Where will  drop this thing, i'm thinking ...

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'I've been looking for you, we are taking the pictures now' my cousin distracts my thoughts, so i kon drop the flask for ground, to go take photo, after all who wan tiff am?

My extended family members don pose na me remain, after the pictures my uncle shouts 'Yemskoko, when are you bringing a man to come and pay your dowry', he said arranging his agbada,

'very soon sir' 

'look at your younger sister getting married ehn, is it when you are 'taty fife' you will now bring a husband', this man serious for this mata today oh...

'uncle very soon', end!

'Ok oh', he grunts and takes his attention somewhere else 'alhaji...eku ojo meta...

Whew...pesin never marry nor be curse oh, I stare at my sister dancing with her husband to D'banj's 'you don make me fall in love' , before I even have the privilege of wallowing in self pity my aunty comes up from behind, 

'Sisi London, what your uncle said is true oh, when are you getting married? abi you want me to introduce you to one fine bobo in my office, I know you will like him, he...' her voice just dey sound like clashing tambourines for my ear. I quickly interrupt her,

 'aunty, mummy is calling me'

'wayo girl, which mummy is calling you? you want to run away, before you go whatt did you bring from london for my children?

'Orisirisi I lied, They're in my luggage', I chuckle. 

'I'm coming to collect it oh' she said dragging her ears...shuo na me born the children? I nor even know how many pikin she get sef. I wink at my bobo in the crowd and signalled him that I'm about to disappear, he promptly got up to come and rescue me, while we were about to leave the hall we are interrupted...

'So why did you not give your mummy the flask?' Ah, this woman again? dem send am come meet me today?

'I- I- I'...I'm stammering...'I gave her naw', I finally said putting my poker face forward. How would she know I didn't give her sef.

'Nibo? Is it not what i'm holding in my hand?' she looks at me incredulously, I look at my bobo, my bobo gazes into the distance...

GBAGAUN!