Few Good Men...

Last week, I boarded a taxi...had small talk with the driver. Not small talk...we were haggling about the cab fare jare; there is nothing I won't price, i even price items on sale!  When I reach house, I off jacket, hang am. I off shoe. I off bra. I off pant. I off light! I was that knackered.


 'Isn't it odd?' i thought to myself...' That I've been home for about 45 minutes and not a single Beep from my phone'...
So I got up, on light, put hand inside jacket pocket, nothing. 

What? Nothing?!

Brethren, I had instant headache. I ran to my bag, hopeful that my ever forgetful self kept the phone there, I shook hand inside all the zip wey dey the bag, nothing! I turn the bag upside down and poured the contents on the floor, the half chewingum i forgot plus my bits and bobs on the floor, by now yours truly was sweating like Christmas goat, yet it was freezing!


Just like indomie instant noodles tears were flowing freely! It was not silent tears. I was screaming and wailing. I put my hands on my head and threw myself on the floor...(I didn't know I know I was such a drama queen). I dey cry like pikin wey dem thief hin sweet! The lifetime of my phone flashed right before my eyes in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n...how I walked into the Apple shop, paid in cash and took my baby home! oh my iPhone, my beloved iPhone!

All the while, Mr Muscle was on Skype, watching my dramatics.( *ahem* i don wear bra and pant) I'm sure he was entertained...and slightly worried as per future mother of his kids na-who wan marry krase?! "It's just a phone" he said in a bid to calm me down...I yelled with the rage of an intoxicated chihuahua, "It is not JUST a phone! It's a smart phone!". Mild symptoms of konkonbility.

I called my phone more than 10 times and it was just ringing...(signs that you will never get it back)...na so I remember how dem thief my alcatel phone inside 'along,along bus' for warri one time and the thing just dey ring...My other phone, one Bird phone too, the pesin thief am, and had the effrontery to tell me 'say goodbye to your phone, collect the sim in Mile 12'....this was Lagos. I started round two of my wailing. Mr Muscle finally said..."calm down, I called your phone and the driver said you should pick the phone from their office tomorrow, will you stop crying now?"

...ehn? Say God!

The phone was not stolen? I wiped my tears...'he was going to give it back to me?'...Wonders shall never end! Not in warri! Not in 9ja! God I thank you oh, that I did not end this 2011 in tears! There are still a few good honest men out there, men that will return your phone to you when you lose it....Early morrin, na me dem wake see for their office!

#Shout out to Sol Taxis Northampton!