THIS SH*T MATTER!

*ignoring cobwebs* . How's everyone doing? Long time no gist, but today gist don come on gistdotcom! I went to 9ja over the weekend for my lovely friend's wedding...it was beautiful I tell you, but that is not today's gist! Immediately I landed,  I fished out the list of meals I wanted to have (as usual). Mind you, wetin happen to me in my last post HERE was all about food during my April trip. This is  fresh gist from a fresh trip. It is apparent that I have longer throat! 

I was just branching all the boli selllers, roasted corn, sharwarmar (tasted dodgy but it is still shawarma). I had Kuli Kuli and I topped it up with dankwa. That was Day 1. Day 2, I chop suya, goat meat peppersoup, 2 big nylon bags of boiled groundnut, gala, fan yogo and had some more kuli kuli and bottled fanta  to wash it down. These were just appetizers oh. 

Day 3 I go Wuse market to make my hair...all the women just dey hail me, "fine aunty... sweet sixteen... my colour, abeg make i do your hair"... I know they probably say this to everyone but trust me, my case was different as I was looking fresh and janded that day. I dey form butty (what am I sayin? I am butty jor!). I finally selected the most persuasive lady and I peeped to make sure her armpit no dey smell, nothing worse pass armpit stench from your hair dresser.

2 hours into my hair and e kon be like say some people dey dance windeck inside my tummy. Who's in there? I ignored it. Few minutes later I begged one smally to go and buy me flagyll, Oh baby don dey sweat! 2 tablets of flagyll later and I felt I was about to explode! I took 2 more. Oh boy! The overdose did not werk!  'I can't sh*t in this market oh', I thought to myself...I frantically looked around while commanding the heavenly hosts to calm the raging storm in my belly. I even went the superstitious way...I rubbed a bit of sputum on my pompoo aka belly button. *covers face* oh-yes-i-did. 

Brethren! Nor be clear eye I use run inside one toilet like that! Ah! I ran and dropped my phones and every item I had on me on the floor. As I reach the gate of the toilet one lady said "aunty, na 20 naira to piss and 30naira to shit"...I pushed her out of the way with one hand while the other was on my bum and yelled get out of the way my friend! Na 30 naira we dey talk here?! I will not disgust you further with details of my escapades in that toilet...this was the summary: "prakatabgoogboomfiiiiiisssssssssprrrrrrrrrrrrr..." and there was silence. After 10 horrifying minutes I was calm and that was when I noticed the yamayama building I was inside sef. As I stepped out, I payed the lady 200 naira...for the harassment. Diarrhea is no respecter of age, class, sex...

Who say fine girl no dey sh*t?!!! *covers face*