WHAT DO YOU DO?

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People aound me know I love food. Scratch that. I love GOOD food! So I remember when I went to naija and I was just craving everything I hadn't eaten in a while. I wrote a list of meals to be demolished; suya dey dia, fresh fish peppersoup dey dia, kilishi dey too, isiewu & nkwobi enter d list too.

Na so one day an aunt of mine overheard me saying I want to eat 'efo'. She kon extend invitation gimme...she raved about how her efo was one in town and na so I just dey lick lips dey salivate. She said 'come on friday evening'...I have never missed a food appointment in my life; I got there 40 minutes early!



When I reach the house...I was waiting for the aroma of the efo to envelop me in the parlour but I perceived nothing. I tilted my nose to the left and to the right...still nothing. Ah, abi she don cook the soup since put am for freezer? Ok na. An hour into my visit the food never still comot kitchen shuooo. I was pretending I didn't come to their house for the sole purpose of food. I was watching TV and commenting on how cute their daughter was and how nice the curtains by the window and how fascinating I found that their doorknob was red in colour...I was going on and on about nothing.

Finally the househelp brought kulikuli and Malta Guinness for me...I finished the whole thing. Hunger don wire me. I was saving my tummy for this efo. Exactly 28 minutes later I was invited to the dining. I bin dey count. The meal was covered and I still couldn't perceive the aroma. Abi na empty plate dey there? I did a mini drumroll in my head and then opened the plate. Brethren...I took one swallow *GULP* This was truly a one in town efo. Ojigbijigbijigbi-bad bad efo! The eba was solid as a rock; each swallow was painful. Because I said I was really famished my dear aunt had doubled the portion of my eba. E don red for me today!!!

Sisi: "aunty ah lovely soup" (struggling to swallow a morsel)
Aunty: "I told you my efo was sweet," she said grinning like a proud mother hen..
I tried to use cunny-cunny for my aunt but like they say 'cunny man die, cunny man bury am'...
Sisi: "Yes oh...aunty shebi I can do take away...this food is so delicious & I dont want to finish it at once"
Aunty: "No oh...since you like it so much, finish it and I will pack a separate one for you to take home".

Hands on my head...*Ewooooooooooooo*





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55 comments

  1. Miss MSeptember 10, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    ROFLMAO. I can only imagine your pain. Pele, my dear. Lol. You always manage to crack me up, even over something as serious as your stomach in danger. :))

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  2. ExcitedJadeSeptember 10, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    Hahahaah... Very funny. Food no go kee u., bad bad efo. I feel u my dear, I have a friend like dat too. She no sabi cook anything, shame!

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  3. MizSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    LDKMD!!!! Long throat don hold you prisoner!!!! Hahahahaha

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  4. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    I almost peed on myself. that was too funny loooool. sorry about the rocky eba and stale efo.

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  5. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    lmao

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  6. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Hehehehehe! How you take escape? The take-away still follow you reach house? LOL!
    ***Hazel***

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  7. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Hehehehehehehe. How you take escape? The take-away still follow you reach house?

    ***Hazel***

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  8. AseniSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    ajigbijigbijigbi! tehehehe!

    U sure pulled a straight face in that table cos i wlda had a "omg-wat-is-this?" face!

    Anyhow, where av u been?

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  9. BukiBelleSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    ROFL!!!

    Sisi Yemmie, you are three much sef!

    Pele.

    Arriving 40 minutes early! Looool!

    Where you been??? Hope all is well though (besides this your efo adventure).

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  10. 9jaFOODieSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    LWKMD..this is some hilarious something..lol...une sorry hen. Next time you know not to go to her house abi.

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  11. BlessingSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    lolllll pele

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  12. kitkatSeptember 10, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    LMAO!!!! your aunt wsn't goin to let u off the hook easily. sowi lol

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  13. Molara BrownSeptember 10, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    You no get choice na to finish the food or find when she comot you side, carry plate for kitchen go throwey...LMAO

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  14. Think-About-ItSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    hahaha
    You couldn't even escape with the take away!

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  15. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    #laughing#................don't know what to say ooo..hahahhahaa...ok! AWUFF DEY PURGE BELLY CHEI?..hahaha

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  16. ms cookieSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    hahaha see where love of food led u to....too funny.. there is nothing worst than terrible ebo talkless of the bad efo simply torture :-D

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  17. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    If you cannot smell the aroma then something is wrong...

    Well, she taught you a lesson; which is to cook your own food, eat in a restaurant or buy take-away.

    Didn't you know that your aunt was a bad cook?

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  18. gretelSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    well,with this,when next you hear one in town efo,you'll hold your self.

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  19. lawwyySeptember 10, 2011 at 11:06 PM

    Ebina! lol,I love good food too, I think its one of our assignments on earth

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  20. T.NotesSeptember 10, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    Hahahaha!!!!Copy@Miz:Long throat prison be that one!!!eeya,pele!lmao!

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  21. stelzzSeptember 11, 2011 at 12:17 AM

    lol. I feel you o. Ah, you have to manage and eat very slowly.lol

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  22. HyperfashunSeptember 11, 2011 at 2:36 AM

    I can just imagine the torture. Lmao.

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  23. GingerSeptember 11, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    Suffering and smiling. na wa oo. Next time check IV well well.

    A question no one has ever answered me...why do bad cooks love piling your plate with their bad food? The thing tire me..meanwhile if its real nice food, its never enough.....

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  24. Tiaraoluwa (Of God's Body)September 11, 2011 at 7:49 AM

    lmao pele but this is too funny lol

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  25. UnknownSeptember 11, 2011 at 9:58 AM

    Na you wey start am go finish am. Olojukokoro. lol
    I like your aunty mehn! lol

    - LDP

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  26. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2011 at 11:28 PM

    the woman has been planning for you b4 b4.lol.c'mon, how she no go know say the food no sweet?

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  27. eyesoftruthSeptember 12, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    ROTFLMAO!!! you're soooo funny!

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  28. LucianoSeptember 12, 2011 at 9:29 AM

    awoof dey purge o.................lwkm.
    pls checkout my blog: http://lucianochinwe.blogspot.com/

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  29. SteveSeptember 12, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Lol, you have a lovely way of telling a story. It made me laugh

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  30. doll (retired blogger)September 12, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    lwkmd!

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  31. HoneyDameSeptember 12, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    choi!!It is over!!!! LMAO...i nor fit laugh finish....in fact, na true red your own enter..

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  32. *Michael Onobote*September 12, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    Aunty toh sure! LOL! EEya she fall your hand gaaan

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  33. NightingaleSeptember 13, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    Hahahahahahaha! Take away is always my best option.. lol

    Sorry for the rocky Eba and bad efo....lol

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  34. Mena UkodoisReadySeptember 13, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I loooove food, but ever since I started jogging E V E R Y D A Y I dont like certain food anymore.lol To carry thhis ikebe and laps dey run for Jabi Abuja no be yam and stew.lol

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  35. MyneSeptember 14, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    LWKMD, you don see food and you wan run? LOL...

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  36. OkeogheneSeptember 14, 2011 at 1:17 AM

    Lwkm. I think say aunty plan for you o.

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  37. Missy Tee'sSeptember 14, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    Oh dear.....this is hilarious. You really timed both your journey and how long it took them to serve the "amazing" efo and extremely soft eba NOT!. I trust next time, you won't talk to ur aunt about efo riro! lol pele.

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  38. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2011 at 6:42 PM

    LOL! allow the woman now...in her mind the efo is sweet :)

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  39. JustDoyinSeptember 16, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    hohoho hahaha hehehe...I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or to say it serves u right. lol.

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  40. reeha@"super sale"September 17, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    hahah great interesting post. hoping that you will go through this period safely.

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  41. Coy~IntrovertSeptember 18, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    hahahahahahahaha, i can't breathe oh, this is too funny

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  42. Abi TobiSeptember 19, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    hahahahahahahaha! too funny

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  43. TikiSeptember 22, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    lwkmdfh! Next time, do ur research- longthroat go do wonders, lol ...sori o! Hope ur stomach has recovered.

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  44. KoinoniaSeptember 27, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    LOL! Your post had me in stitches. Nice one...Sisi Yemmie

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  45. AnonymousOctober 1, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    "...since you like it so much, finish it..." brilliant.

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  46. reeha@gift ideasOctober 2, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    great interesting post. love such comic here.

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  47. Emeka AmakezeOctober 4, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Sharp babe meets sharp host!Sharp babe meets sharp host!

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  48. UnknownOctober 4, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    You go fear efu na..lol..chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

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  49. Rhapsody PhoenixOctober 4, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    Blessings....
    lol,
    lol'
    lol,
    lol,
    i feel sorry for you o, it reminds me of the time i was eyeing this good looking brother and doing the mantra so he go sit by me, i got meh wish and more cause when he open he mouth it stink like hell, meh eye water from the fumes, ah vex bad, ah get out 2/3 stops before meh real stop.

    you know wah they say, "Becareful what you wish for, yuh just might get it"...hehe

    p.s.
    you know your aunty probably read this post right?

    stay blessed.
    Rhapsody
    http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix

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  50. Travel BuffOctober 6, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    LMSAO....eyah! I really can't imagine after so much mouth watering

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  51. AJCitiOctober 7, 2011 at 12:57 AM

    loooool! It's really a sad story.. me sef, I'm making my list and I go chop well well as soon as I enta naija!

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  52. Missy Tee'sOctober 8, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Where is Sisi Yemmie?
    Missed all the comedy........where est thou? Left for too long...........

    ReplyDelete
  53. NatmaneOctober 12, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    ROFLMAO...Serves you right. Long throat no good o. Remember say free tins dey run belle.Eya...sorry o. I thank God say I been no dey your bata!!
    Nice one Sisi!

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  54. NonyeOctober 14, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    LOL!!!! i make good efo....when next u visit, lemme know and pls remind me to keep kulikuli and malta guiness for u too! Encore...

    ReplyDelete
  55. AnonymousOctober 19, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    I didn't know U are so Funny until I passed through Ur Blog ... So inspired.keep it on !!!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

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