HOW TO SPOT BUSH PEOPLE

You will hear them playing music from their kpako phone for all to hear. Who told them we want to listen to the screeching noise from that China phone gaan???

When they are in public and their phones ring, they just keep shouting information into the mouth piece. Please keep your voices low. It’s irritating when people scream about their business. Plain BUSH!

When they are in a place that should be quiet e.g Church or class room, they will intentionally forget to put their ever kpaako phones on the silent mode. Obviously, they want us to realize that they have one toy phone that can play “yori yori”.Arrrrrant bushness!

Somebody tell me why someone would plug in earphones into the church, I mean earplugs for phones. Haba, how do you intend to hear what the Preacher said? If I guess right he is obviously preaching that pride goes before a fall. For heaven’s sake, we do not need to know if your phone has earphones or if you can afford Bluetooth. Its very RAZZ and BUSH!

What’s this new bush way of wearing sunglasses when its not sunny??? Or wearing them inside a house? in church? Like I read somewhere, it only makes sense if you are either blind, a celebrity (e.g Tyson Beckford) or just simply retarded! They are called SUNshades for a reason!

Because u saw P.Diddy Blinging and you want to wear “abeg-I-must-bling-chain-f

rom-Onitsha-market” If you cant afford the real one, just take d load off ya neck and stick to carved wooden chains and bracelets from Iya Shina in Osun.


Ok. Look, if you are a guy and your hair is woven, stop it. Unless you are gay, you have a really handsome face, or your braids are tight. Don’t try to be Shemar Moore; you will only end up looking like an agbero version of African China! Same goes for dreads….If you want one, don’t DIY. It’s meant to be D-R-E-A-D-S not D-A-D-A! Raskimono’s look is so outdated!


We are in Nigeria, Africa! Why do some people not realize this when they wear “winter” clothing?? You wear jean jacket over a shirt in this hot weather! C’mon! Don’t wear layers of clothes. It doesn’t make you look like u just came from “Jand”, makes you look very very BUSH!


Women, why cant u ever figure out the right shade of foundation/powder for your face??? Believe me, going a shade lighter wont make u look fresh like “half caste”. You end up looking like “willie willie”,Coat of many colours. Its just wrong. Find your colour. Your friends/mother/sisters colour is not your colour.


Again, women! If you are going to wear spaghetti tops or anything that will expose your arms. Please, Please Please, shave your arm pits. Its unsexy and very rude! Imagine Stretching and everyone can see your “afro kinky” from your pits….eeew! Tres Bush!


If you are wearing perfume and I can perceive it a mile off, please go and bathe, and scrub your body well with morning fresh! You hear me??? Don’t come and choke innocent people with that rat killer spray that u swam in!


For those who have managed to cross border just once in their life. I take God beg you, stop bragging! Funny enough the trip was when you were so little that you could hardly spell! Every conversation must not center around that your annoying trip. Who cares????! You just make people roll up their eyes anytime they hear you go “ when I was in….., “B-U-S-H!

For those with confused accents, fluctuating between Ibo, Pidgin , Brtish n American accent, just be real. There is nothing like "shat up" or "surrrsepense"...dont call it beef ooo.Its just BUSH

IF you finish reading this and you find a fault with anything here….your are INDEED uniquely BUSH!

LMAO